The Zero moment point

English class (10/24/2012)...

I have reflected on our in class discussion of this writing excerpted from The Perfect Storm, by Sebastian Junger.  Our small group was given two topics to consider.  The first question was to identify in the essay as to what was the zero-moment point.  The other question was to identify the breaking point.

This essay, by Junger, is about the sinking of Andrea Gail, a fishing vessel from the North Atlantic.  It went down in October, 1991.  Honestly, I only faintly remember this news worthy story.  A movie was produced by Warner Bros. with the name based on Junger’s story.

We found in the essay the zero-moment point as it pertains to marine architects, as the point that sailors realize they are going down.  A point of no return.  For this boat they were not even able to signal distress (EPIRB).  Then we found the break-point.  This is the personal realization that our mind and body suddenly goes into a state of sever panic.  They finally succumb to death through drowning.  The last moments of self-reflection and giving up.

Well, me being a middle aged adult at 44 years old, I thought back over the far distant past and a tragic memory came flooding my mind.  You know it is one of those blacked out things that I wanted to hide for all these years.  Here is my hidden dark memory.

I was say 10-11 years old in 1980.  We had just started new school in August-September.  But at our house (in the country, on the farm) that week, we had an unusual  thing happen.  Our family had puppies born by our lady dog.  Her name was Tina.  Tina was a very favorite dog to us, kids.  I remember our neighbor’s dog wandering to our farm about 2 months previously, and I witnessed the mating of those two dogs.  Wow, that was incredible for a 10 year old boy to watch, me who was just beginning the adventure each one of us goes through from adolescents to youth (a.k.a puberty).  The farm life is a wonderful way to experience the truths of growing up, so to speak.  Animals have instincts of copulation just as well as humans.  Fortunately, on the farm, it is more sacred to witness that reproduction event.

So, any way, Tina had a litter of 12 puppies.  Now that was fertility for a first time birthing.  My father, whom I respect to the utmost, had a serious decision to make.  His thoughts were that Tina would not be able to care for that many puppies as her first birthing event.  So, he and mom decided to eliminate five of those puppies while we were at school.  My parents were smart enough to know that us kids would be affected in some way with our emotions when we would suddenly find out that five puppies were gone.  That is precisely what happened.  We came home from school and after getting off of the school bus, we all went directly to the garage to see the puppies.  Upon seeing the litter box, we all discovered at the same moment that five puppies were not there.  Dad and mom were standing there, too.  And they were watching all of us for our reaction.  For me, it was a horrible out burst of wailing and anger that I had ever done before.  I remember seeing my dad, and when I released that screaming, he grabbed me and held me tightly close to his chest.  He was strong and would not let me go.  I fought him fiercely and struggled to get free.

Eventually, I calmed down and we talked about the situation.  He explained that it hurt him hard too, to eliminate those five puppies.  He and mother had made a careful decision and to the best of their thinking, they really felt they had to do that.  Dad never said what they did to eliminate those puppies, but my brother, a year old then me, told me that he thought they drowned them.  I cringed at him saying that.

Well after about a week of inner turmoil over those events, I had a rebellious moment and found a one week old kitten on the farm; and, I drowned that kitten.  That is my experience with drowning.  I confess now that I regret and feel remorse for drowning that kitten.  I am forgiven I know by the grace of God, but the strange inner feeling comes racing back to me, because of this essay.  I hope others who read this will read with tenderness also.  We all have some dark secret in our far off past that will come flooding back into memory.  Release that memory to someone (as confession) and you will feel better about yourself. 

GOD BLESS YOU